Relationships Do Matter: How to Avoid Being Relationally Vulnerable.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.”

Brené Brown

This quote suggests that vulnerability is closely linked to truth and courage.

It implies that being vulnerable means being authentic and honest, even when it's uncomfortable or difficult. 

Despite the potential discomfort, vulnerability is portrayed as an act of courage rather than a weakness. It suggests that by being vulnerable, individuals can show their true selves and build stronger connections with others.

It encourages authenticity, builds trust, and fosters true togetherness in relationships. 

As we kick off our time together, I ask you to reflect upon your client relationships as you reread the above mentioned. Do I have you thinking a bit?

Grab a sheet of paper and pen. Write down your top 5 clients. Now, I'd like for you to think about them for a moment... Think about all the key decision makers and influencers... On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your knowledge of all of these people both personally and professionally? Go ahead and put a number score next to each one of them.

If you agree your clients mean the world to you then how well do you know them and how well do they know you?

Deep meaningful relationships are necessary in this post trust sales world. 

The more you know about your clients and the more they know about you, the more the relationship grows and the more your sales grow, plain and simple.

Here's the deal... I'm keeping it real folks; I'm massively concerned with the weak relational skill set that many have in sales.

How many of you walk around or should I say strut around saying, "My clients love me" "I have rock solid relationships with my clients" And then you get the dreaded call. We know the call. 

MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS AND RELATIONSHIPS DO MATTER

"The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different."

Harvey Mackay

Heartfelt sales professionals build meaningful relationships with their clients. They get it. To build meaningful relationships, they understand as humans we crave and value relationships.

According to The Society for Personality and Social Psychology, they believe meaningful relationships help you thrive. 

In fact, meaningful relationships pose several benefits such as:

• Improved mental health
• Better perceived well-being
• Higher self-confidence
• Broader perspectives and understanding
• Increased resilience

The Medical Daily goes as far to say that building meaningful relationships is one of “The healthiest things you’ll do during the duration of your life."

If you all can buy into this then why don’t we do more of it? And why does it often seem so hard to do?

The more you invest in your relationships, the more you will collect from your relationships.

Building, nurturing and maintaining meaningful relationships and connections has become challenging because...

1. Technology provides so many distractions that we struggle to truly listen to and engage with those around us. How many of us have our smart phones tethered to our beings everywhere we go, in every meeting and in every social gathering?
2. Many of us are trying to live up to the unrealistic standards the media (especially social media) has created for us.

Hear me out on this one, to build a meaningful relationships you must care about it, commit to it, and then hold yourself radically accountable to that commitment. 

Harley Therapy Psychotherapy & Counseling stresses that,

"More profound than mere conversation, true connection can happen without words and with someone we don’t even know. On the other hand, constant contact, such as working with someone every day, is no guarantee of actual connection."

The last sentence is powerful and relatable to many in sales. How many of you interact with your clients on a consistent basis, yet what do you really know about them? What you do you know about their goals, dreams and aspirations?

Ezra Taft Benson served as the United States Secretary of Agriculture during Dwight D. Eisenhower's reign as President from 1953 to 1961. He firmly believed that “You can’t serve well those you don’t know well.” Reflect upon that quote as you think about how much you really know about your clients.

The more you give, ultimately the more you receive.

Mirror moments for all of you:

Are you personally engaging with your clients?

Are you authentically investing in building meaningful relationships?

WHAT'S PREVENTING YOU FROM BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS?

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”

Crissi Jami

Vulnerability is an influential ingredient in building healthy, happy and heartfelt personal relationships. However, when it comes to being vulnerable in our sales lives, many of us struggle to open-up.

In my heart, I believe vulnerability equates to sales power because living from a vulnerable space requires tremendous strength and incredible courage.

Vulnerability means being willing to show your authentic self, share your experiences, and admit when you don't have all the answers. 

Becoming this open can be disarming to your clients, as it shows that you're genuinely invested in helping them rather than just making a sale.

Vulnerability leads to victory, are you willing to throw it out there?

It's unfortunate as many in sales hide behind, fabricated, false and fake images they’ve created, as they choose to reveal facade versions of themselves to the external world, their clients.

These facades and fake personas deprive them of building meaningful relationships. 

Many of you have become pseudo professionals in concealing what’s contained beneath the surface, keeping who you really are hidden within a neat little package; shielded away from outside view.

You can be credible, reliable and loving but if it’s painfully obvious you only have your own interests at heart people will see through your charade. They will call you out for what you are, an empty suit.

BE BRAVE, VULNERABLE AND WILLING

In a sales world full of broken dreams, busted promises and braggadocious behavior - one can never ever build meaningful relationships without eating humble pie and vulnerability for breakfast.

Vulnerability is power.

Becoming sales powerful requires vulnerability. It's those sales professionals who so bravely choose to become “Open books,” sharing human aspects of themselves and revealing the truth of who they are by leading authentic lives.

Vulnerability is power because living a sales life from a vulnerable space requires tremendous strength and incredible courage. It's truly going against the sales norm.

When you lead a sales lie that is not you, I promise this will come back and bite you right in the backside. I'd like for you to ask yourself, are the images you’ve created really adding value and meaning to your clients, or have they made you feel like an empty suit?

Are you sensing there's something missing, preventing you from building those meaningful relationships?

In a post-trust sales world, the time is now to:

• Get real with yourself
• Be authentic in all aspects of your life
• Be vulnerable with yourself and to your clients

Brené Brown talks about this in her book, Daring Greatly. 

A person who can make themselves vulnerable, exposing their weaknesses without any regard to what others will think, is saying to the world, “I don’t care what you think of me; this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else.”

ENHANCE THE EXPERIENCE, ENHANCE THE RELATIONSHIP

Creating an inspirational experience is one of the biggest opportunities you will have to capture your clients' heart and have them continue to do business with you.

Please, stop operating with the same old mindset, delivering the same HO-HUM experiences as you expect different outcomes.

How can you build and strengthen your client relationships if you're hiding behind a relational facade?

Staying vulnerable helps you to consistently recognize your value as a unique, heartfelt and caring professional. It gives you the courage to reveal yourself in ways that will strengthen your connections.

Vulnerability will enhance your authenticity. People are more likely to resonate with someone who is genuine and relatable, rather than someone who presents themselves as perfect or faultless. 

Embrace your vulnerability, demonstrate authenticity and integrity, and watch how this strengthens the bond between you and your clients.

Remember that vulnerability is a natural aspect of human connection, but with mindfulness and intentionality, you can navigate it in a healthy and empowering way.

Originally published on Larry Levine's LinkedIn.