3 Simple Strategies To Help You Avoid the Pity Party Blues.

larry levine Feb 19, 2024
3 Simple Strategies To Help You Avoid the Pity Party Blues.
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
 Martin Luther King, Jr.

While you may encounter setbacks and disappointments in life, it's mission critical that you maintain hope for a bright future. 

Let's face it, you're gonna face setbacks and challenges, it's how resilient you become that really matters.

Acknowledge that disappointments are inevitable, yet hold onto hope, as you do have the ability to find the strength to overcome obstacles as you work towards a better tomorrow.

Curious, how many of you have been faced with the temptation to give into discouragement? 

Let's face it, bad news and rejection, it's all a part of sales. What's more important is how you handle it. 

Spend any amount of time in sales and discouragement inevitably sets in. It’s part of what makes sales unique, as the highs are high, and the lows are low.

Discouragement, disappointment, discomfort, failure, and setback; these can motivate us to new sales heights if we cultivate an empowering mindset. The key is to learn from these experiences while you minimize the amount of time you allow yourself to drown in discouragement.

A discouraging sales day becomes a discouraging week. A discouraging week becomes a month. A discouraging month begets another discouraging month.

When's the last time you allowed yourself grace when discouragement sets in?

We all have our limits. And, sometimes, frustration sets in, getting the best of us.

As a sales professional, getting frustrated is a recipe for disaster. I’m sure you’ve experienced some degree of this within your sales journey.

Discouragement, it messes with your ability to do things correctly, things you normally have no issue in handling. Your sales performance suffers as quotas are not hit which results in even more frustration.

Discouragement is a constant temptation and something that can be a constant companion if you don't have a strategy.

The consummate sales professional consistently asks themselves inward reflective questions. This helps them to avoid succumbing to the pity party known as discouragement.

They self-reflect, asking themselves...

  • The last time I got discouraged, what worked to overcome it?
  • How have the people I look up to overcome discouragement? If so, how did they overcome it?
  • Is being discouraged bringing me closer to achieving sales success?

Knowing the source of discouragement is your first step. You can't take control of something you don't understand.

Change your sales sob story into a sales success story.


"The problem with pity parties is very few people come, and those who do don't bring presents."
Zig Ziglar

Urban Dictionary defines a pity party as, 

A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is.

Personal invitations are usually sent out to colleagues, close friends and loved ones. They attend to comfort your poor soul as you ask yourself what you did to deserve the discouragement and despair.

Pity parties are pitiful. These parties do yourself a great disservice.

This is what you can expect from pity parties:

  1. They are a colossal waste of time.
  2. They are energy vampires.
  3. They affect your performance.

The problem with pity parties is that you'll never be able to see the forest through the trees. You'll never be able to see the goodness in the present moment.

To quote, Dr. Wayne Pernell, a clinical psychologist and member of the Forbes Business Council,

“When we don’t get what we want or feel like we weren’t appropriately validated for the work we did, it’s not uncommon to withdraw into a state of self-pity."

Any of this sound familiar?

Dr. Pernell then goes on to say, 

“Self-pity isn’t something a person just suddenly snaps out of. Several pints of ice-cream and numerous friends offering supportive comments don’t make it better.”

I believe that mentally strong people don’t try to gain sympathy from others by complaining about their difficult circumstances.

Mentally strong people simply do something about it... They take action!


"Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make."
Eckhart Tolle


Benjamin Franklin said it best, 

"Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise." 

Adapt to it, embrace it and learn to fall in love with early mornings. Think about capturing the first hour of every morning in self-reflection.

Reassess, recharge and recapture the moments through mental exercises is a great way to maintain mental clarity and resilience.

The best way to avoid being hit over the head with the mental hammer is exercise.

Dedicate the first hour of every morning to mental and physical care.

When your mind is not clear, it starts to play tricks on you.

Secondly, reconnect with your values and reflect on them.

Every morning ask yourself:

  • Who am I really?
  • Am I living and staying true to myself?
  • What am I most grateful for?
  • Am I achieving the goals I set for myself?
  • What am I needing most right now?

Self-reflection allows you to gain clarity on what's important, and to focus on what needs to be done differently.

Integrating self-reflection into your morning routine is one of the best ways you can shift your mindset, increase positivity, and uncover a greater connection to yourself.


"All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do."
Norman Vincent Peale

Striking out, it's all a part of baseball. Guess what? It happens to you in sales. A baseball player who misses out 70% of the time is consider elite. 

Please understand that striking out is a part of sales, however; a true sales professional will use this to reconnect to their goals.

Are you lying to yourself?

Many will say they're working towards their goals when in all actuality they haven’t made much progress towards them whatsoever. 

The time is now to cut through your own B.S. and mental clutter.

Many simply give up on their goals because they believe it's too hard as opposed to giving themselves a fair shot.

To help you overcome discouragement, take out your sales plan and realize failure is built into it. Reconnect to your activity and drill into your activity as this will help you to avoid frustration.

Reconnect emotionally to your goals. The nice thing about emotionally reconnecting with your goals is that it's inherently personal.

Ask yourself...

  • What do I need to do differently?
  • What am I willing to change?
  • What do I need the most right now?
  • What am I personally struggling with right now and how do I choose to overcome this?

Reconnect and refocus... Does the goal still resonate with you? Why is the goal still important to you?

You may ask yourself:

  • What did I learn that I need more of over the past three months? 
  • What did I discover that I need less over the past three months?
  • What do I need to differently over the next three months? 

Reconnect to what matters.


"You’re always free to change your mind and choose a different future, or a different past."
Richard Bach

The sales profession and the National Football League are quite similar. Its smash mouth, an in your face, full contact business sport. You're going to get knocked down and you must rise back up. You must take rejection and brush it off just like a quarterback sack.

How many out-reaches need to happen to set up one quality meeting? I don't care what the number is; it's downright daunting. 

However, the best sales call you can make, is to yourself. I guarantee you will get through 100% of the time.

Investing in yourself has the single best return on investment and combats being bitten by the discouragement bug. I promise, investing in yourself will have tremendous impact in your life, your well-being, and your ability to perform to the best of your sales ability. 

Your sales future will be determined by your willingness to invest in yourself.

Sales professionals who are willing to invest in themselves are better equipped to adapt to changes, overcome challenges, and seize opportunities, thus increasing their chances of long-term success in the competitive sales landscape.

Invest in yourself and stay truer to true.

One must give to themselves first before they can give to others. This takes personal commitment, but the rewards are well worth it.

Investing in yourself packs a powerful punch.


"Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality."
 John W. Gardner

Overcoming pity and mass quantities of discouragement is only temporary. You must learn how to process it. 

Once you start executing your plan, the discouragement you feel will start to leave just as quickly as it appeared. 

Revisit your vision and values. No one achieves success without periods of discouragement and failure. 

And most of al... Don't accept the invitation to the self-induced pity party.

Originally published on Larry Levine's LinkedIn.

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