Deep Meaningful Connection Requires Honest, Healthy And Heartfelt Conversation.

“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives."

Brené Brown

I believe it’s the quality of your connections that so heavily influences your long- term sales sustainability.

Superficial interactions and empty conversations get you nowhere.

If your desire is to build meaningful connections with your clients, then you must be willing to get past surface-level conversations to forge deeper bonds.

Those sales professionals who unify at the heart level and not the wallet level are able to connect with the emotional needs of their clients. They understand people crave to be valued, respected, seen, heard and acknowledged.

By acknowledging and not forgetting the human element, heart-centered professionals maintain the wisdom to positively transform their client's business lives.

"Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart."

Brené Brown

Simply put, your relationship funnel is fueled by the connections that you make.

When you give people (your clients) an authentic, one-on-one view of yourself, you’re giving them a reason to reciprocate and show themselves to you in turn.

This creates a familiar bond that, over time, can grow into something healthy, helpful, and above all, meaningful.

A meaningful connection is a two-way street. Both parties are getting something from the relationship.

Here's the mirror moment...

What are your clients getting out of their relationship with you?

Honest conversations yield honest relationships.

HONEST CONVERSATION CREATES CONNECTION

To quote William Shakespeare,

"No legacy is so rich as honesty."

In a business world starving for truthfulness and honesty, what do you wish your legacy to be?

Are you leading your sales life with confident and direct conversation?

I enjoyed reading, "The Business of Honor" by Bob Hasson along with Danny Silk.

There is a style of communication they refer to as being healthy and aligned with the core beliefs and commitments of honor, and this is called assertive conversation.

Key in on this especially in a business world where trust is extremely low... "I'm going to tell you the truth about my thoughts, feelings and needs."

In doing so, they go onto to say this demonstrates trust, "I'm not going to do anything to try and manipulate or control the way you see me or respond to me."

What do you think about that statement?

Healthy conversation is mission critical to have which causes the people who really want to know you to trust you.

Let this one sink in from "The Business of Honor",

"Assertive communication fosters trust, safety and belonging. Telling the truth especially difficult truths is one of the main things that causes the people who really want to know us to trust us."

Think about your clients, now reread the quote above.

Assertive conversations require connection.

As we think about connection, let's refer to Brené Brown,

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

I'm going to ask you to think about your clients... Do you believe in your heart that you're creating a space for your clients to feel seen, heard and valued?

In building authentic connections, you hold the key to long-lasting and meaningful client relationships.

Client relationships will become stronger as you learn to open up.

Without healthy conversations, where do you believe the relationship really sits?

The dilemma or struggle for salespeople is when you rely upon scripted questions, you will usually get scripted answers.

Real conversations require complete and active participation. It requires you to be present. Genuine healthy conversations are invitations, an invitation to "what's really going on" starts to unfold, deepening the conversation.

How do you achieve authentic, meaningful, genuine and real conversations with your clients? Quite simple, you let your guard down and you stop acting like a salesperson.

HONEST CONVERSATION CREATES TRUST

To quote, John 8:32,

"The truth will set you free".

How many times have you felt hesitant about speaking ‘your’ truth because of the way you think it will be perceived, or simply, to avoid confrontation?

Spend any amount of time in sales and you will have been faced with moments of... "Do I really share what's going on or do I sugar-coat it to avoid a difficult situation arising?"

No matter the situation, truthful becomes your savior as opposed to avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Yet, how many in sales avoid these types of conversations?

Honesty leads to consistency in your communication. When you consistently speak the truth, others can rely on your words and actions.

Does your conversational walk match your conversational talk?

Brad Blanton, author of Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth, writes:

"When we reveal more, we have less to hide. When we have less to hide, we are less worried about being found out. When we are less worried about being found out, we can pay better attention to someone else. In this way, telling the truth makes intimacy and freedom possible."

Think about this for a moment...

Are you brave enough to start healthy and assertive conversations that matter?

Are you and your clients having break through moments with your conversations?

CONNECTING CONVERSATIONS IS NOT A SIGN OF WEAKNESS

Honoring and connecting at a heart level is not a sign of weakness.

Allow this quote by Judith Orloff to sink in,

"Connection is an energy exchange between people who are paying attention to one another."

Simply put, are you really paying attention to your clients when engaging in conversation? I will let you think about this one for a moment.

Connecting conversations require intentional listening. This happens by being fully present, maintaining eye contact, summarizing what you are hearing, and then asking questions about what has been said.

Deep listening builds trust and safety in relationships.

When you fail or even struggle to have connecting type conversations, you lose out on opportunities to foster meaningful connections that in turn, will improve your client relationships.

Here are some examples of connecting type conversations:

1. Goals and Aspirations: Be willing to go first... Share your long-term goals, dreams, and aspirations as this can lead to a meaningful conversation. You can share what you hope to achieve in your career and ask the other person about their goals and ambitions.
2. Personal Growth and Self-Improvement: Share your journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and self-improvement as this can be both enlightening and inspiring. You can discuss books, practices and routines that have helped you grow as an individual.
3. Hopes for the Future: Engage in conversations about the future and or your vision. You can discuss the hopes for a better business world, the legacy you all want to leave, and how you all plan to contribute to a brighter future.

Connecting and meaningful conversations are not limited to specific topics.

These conversations become meaningful because there has been a genuine exchange of thoughts and feelings. The key is to listen actively, be open to different perspectives, and allow the conversation to flow naturally.

HEART AND VALUES CREATE CONNECTING CONVERSATIONS

In order build value, how many know the true meaning of value?

Why is this so important?

Inside a sea of sales sameness, VALUE; irrefutably becomes one the single biggest connection factors.

A true professional recognizes the value in both their sales-based tools and their heart-based tools.

They display kindness and concern. They understand these emotions demonstrate strength rather than weakness. 

Heartfelt professionals are not afraid to use the most powerful tools which come from the heart.

Be different, think different and act different. It's imperative that you marry your value, your client's value and your company's value in complete harmony; one that's uniquely suited to promote growth and business betterment.

Honest, Healthy And Heartfelt Conversations Matter

It takes courage to have assertive, confident and healthy conversations. It also requires practice. The more you seek to connect with your clients in an authentic way, the more you will hone your skills of giving, inviting and releasing (detaching from the outcomes).

To quote Bob Hasson,

"Fostering healthy connection in our business relationships is critical to success, and for this reason, we must be committed to telling the truth, receiving well, and serving well."

Again, how well are you connecting with your clients? And why authentic connections are all about honest conversations, free from lies.

I will leave you all with one more quote from Brad Blanton in "Radical Honesty" as he says,

"We all lie like hell. It wears us out, it is the major source of all human stress… The kind of lying that is most deadly is withholding, or keeping back information from someone we think would be affected by it."

Now think of your conversations, now think of your clients, now think of how they view you.

To honor thy clients is to honor thyself.

Changing the conversations, changes the outcomes.

Originally published on Larry Levine's LinkedIn.